Love Letter-Mistress

  

    Dear; Mistress

    I don't know if you can hear me, or if you're even there. I don't know if you will listen to a humble prayer. They tell me I am just an outcast; I shouldn't speak to you... Still I see your face, and wonder, was you once an outcast too?


I believe the saddest thing in life, is caring so much for someone and then one day you look into their eyes and listen to them talk and realize that they are gone. All you see in front of you is a stranger with just a known name. What’s better? A lie that draws a smile, or the truth that draws a tear? Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but loving them even they did not see your effort is enough than to hurt.

My scars are there to make me never forget what you have done. Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. They laugh because I'm different. I laugh because they are all the same. I’d much rather to be hated for who I am than to be loved for who I’m not. Nothing is more painful than realizing your love one hurt you just because you love him. I can always close my eyes to the things I don't want to see... But I can't close my heart to the things I don't want to feel.

Unless you have seen a day through my eyes, unless you have listened through my ears, unless you have walked a day in my shoes, don’t even begin to judge or criticize me.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my father did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like a simple candle that blew by the wind.

    But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? I needed to be hurt, for you to be happy…
And, seeing those choices, I am praying for another path. There is not enough darkness in the entire world to put out the LIGHT of even one small candle... Pinned myself down Pouring tears into long lost memories of perfect. Seems like the raven screams for me. Singing its' lustful lullaby. I crave the night. I thrive in darkness. Your presence eats away at my sanity. I dwell here. I stitch my own wound only to reopen another. These wounds beg for the grave. As I tame, by devouring these own wings. To be disengaged from visions of you. The raven ignites. Knowing I am unable to follow. He wants to give me a pair of wings, just to fly away from this pain.

   I am here because of love… I embrace this pain… I’ve kissed this burden. And yes, I’m here stuck in darkness…

   I knew you saw me standing in the middle of nowhere. Yet you just look at me for a second and seems like you don’t even know me. The words couldn’t come out in my mouth because I am tired of saying words yet doesn’t mean to you.

    I've learned that goodbyes will always hurt. Pictures can never replace having been there. Memories good or bad will bring tears. And words can never replace those feelings.